Apologies to Keith Olberman...

Scott Walker is this century's Worst Person In the World...

He Meant to Say Hex Appeal

Vin Webber, a top adviser to Tim Pawlenty, said the press had it wrong about him saying that Michele Bachman had "sex appeal."

New Melville Novel Discovered; about T-Paw

first line:

"Call me a schlemiel."

Fitzgerald to Republicans:

"I didn't say 'your voices sounded like money'"

Kafka to Democrats:

"You'll never believe the size of the bugs I found in the Republican Caucus room!"

Hemingway to Obama:

"When I said 'The best way you can find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them,' the emphasis was on "can find out."

" BTW, WTF is the matter with you? ---LMK." (This new communication is better than dropping adjectives!)

Demented DeMint

The Senate's most conservative fellow

DeMint's bite is worse than his bellow

Against abortion and health care for all

Pro Jesus Love signs in the mall

He's not red, he's not blue, he is yellow.

Orrin Hatches An Egg

He's afraid of the 2012 election

For the poor he's lost his affection

Payroll taxes don't count

When you're king of the mount

Or when you're afraid of rejection.

Bigoted Woman Runs for President

55 year old Miz Michele Bachman

Is just a girl from the block, man

She shops for her clothes at Macy's

She's in love with John Wayne (Gacy)

If Prez, gay marriage she'd ban, man

Memo to FAA: Revoke His License -- NOW

Moron flat earther, climate change unbeliever, and failed stunt pilot Senator James Inhofe has introduced a "Pilot's Bill of Rights" to get back at the FAA for making him take additional training after he deliberately landed his plane on a closed runway, "scaring the crap" out of nearby construction workers.

FAA should revoke his license now, in the event that the Republicans use his "bill" to further clog the debate on raising the debt ceiling.

This definitely calls for a limerick, but I was saving the words "twit," "nitwit," and "dimwit" for Romney, who is a Mormon, but also quite possibly a moron.

You can read about it at The Smoking Gun.

Casey Anthony Verdict

Explains congressional election of 2008.

Fatty, Fatty, Two By Four...

Chris Christie keeps getting fatter

But,really, does his girth matter?

He gets bolder and bolder

He is loved by Ann Coulter

How could it get any badder?

Bob from Tenneessee

That Senator named Robert Corker

Talks like he is a dork-er

$6 billion for Oak Ridge

Not just stuff in his fridge

Turns out he's a fat porker

"Minority" Leader

Why hate that guy Eric Cantor

Because of his arrogant banter

Although he wears glasses

His head up his ass is

Another Republican ranter

There was a celeb named Sarah

Are you running for prez we ask Palin

I dunno, she says words-a-flailing

But we'll surely cheer

If soon we can hear

That rogue mama-griz is a-bailing

Two of the Ugliest Men In the World

Inside and Out.

Roger Ailes schemed with Nixon to start a GOP television channel, noting something to the effect that television watching is a lazy man's game...just feed them the information and they will believe it.

It took him a long time, but Ailes did it ...

There Once Was A Turman named Mitch

Turtle /human hybrid named Mitch

Helped drive us into the ditch

Would he help? He said No

And again he said No

He's a real Son of a _itch

There Once Was A Man Named Boehner

There once was a John named Boehner

O'er all the world, no one lamer

He became speaker

The people grew weaker

And the devil took down his name-r

The Coke Can Was Nothing.

Clarence Thomas needs to resign.

Not in It for The Balloons

Because he can be a clown without them. Jon Huntsman's annoucement today was flawed by boo - boos, including the misspelling of his first name on press passes , the fact that a tour boat and not the Statue of Liberty could be seen behind him, the fact that his generator and the riser died before the announcement, the fact that neither he nor his team has registered any of the logical urls for his campaign (johnh2012, johnhuntsman.com and others, as of this evening are for sale), and the fact that his website went up with fake telephone numbers and addresses.

Big finish: the press were mistakenly boarded on a plane for Saudi Arabia instead of New Hampshire after his speech.

Never mind that his logo would look better on a polo shirt than a presidential campaign.

But wait! He can speak mandarin. Evidently, the Chinese don't care.

Sanctimonius Santorum

Being called "the dumbest member ever" by fellow Republicans, Santorum the screwball has
basically refused to apologize to John McCain for saying that McCain clearly "didn't understand enhanced interrogation."

The list of Republican kooks for president grows ever longer...

Lock Him Up

In a mental institution or a jail. I don't care. Beck is a liar and a lunatic.

Thinking of Ways to Screw Us

Republican lawyer James Bopp Jr. thinks he has found a way to further circumvent the "laws" against soft money contributions.

His stated opinion: "The Supreme Court doesn't care ... I don't care ... nobody that matters cares."

What a f**khead.

No Juzgar Un Libro Por Cubierta

Cuban-Matt-Damon-look-alike Marco Rubio is still a Republican.

Masquerading as a "fresh face", Rubio is a career politican who has already stated publicly that he has "no intention of running for President or Vice President in 2012." We'll see about that...

Besides, his parents are immigrants! It's a wonder they let him in the GOP.

Newt Defames Great American City

Gingrich recently said he would end Obama's "Chicago-style" politics, not stopping for one minute to consider how midwesterners might take that bit of slander.

Chicago is a great American City. Newt is a slithery salamander with 4 legs that can live on water or land.

Newt said in Businessweek that 2012 is the most important election since 1860, the last time he ran for president.

Freshman Republian Congressmen

Are truly SOPHOMORIC.

Republicans Take Their Ball But Fail to go Home

After Navy Seals Six captured Osama Bin Laden, professional idiot Rush Limbaugh weighed in and questioned the shooting of a private citizen in sovereign territory that is not ours.

U.S. face-of-evil Dick Cheney hailed waterboarding, and fatheaded Karl Rove said that "some of his best friends were members of Navy Seals Six." Anything to get it on the act.

And the man with the fox-on-his-head dropped precipitously in the polls.

So sad.